


i found

by dracoommalfoy



Series: song fics [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Based on a song, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25557262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracoommalfoy/pseuds/dracoommalfoy
Summary: five times draco wrote unsent letters and one time it was sent.and i've moved further than i thought i couldbut i missed you more than i thought i wouldand i'll use you as a warning signthat if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mindand i found love where it wasn't supposed to beright in front of metalk some sense to me
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: song fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852027
Comments: 3
Kudos: 70





	i found

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to des :)

**[1]**

_Dear Four-Eyed Freak,_

_You are an absolute_ idiot _, you know that? Now, my father says that half-bloods aren't_ nearly _as bad as mudbloods, but clearly they are. I'll give it to that annoying Granger- at least she knows_ something _about us! You, Potter, on the other hand, are the most clueless wizard I have ever seen in my entire life. So much for being some heroic powerful savior, huh? Although, all the same, I can't help but wonder that if you had just taken my bloody hand and agreed to be my friend I could help you. But, no, you're too high and mighty for that, aren't you? Don't want to befriend some Slytherin? Well I'll have you know that that is perfectly_ fine _with me, okay? Because it's not like I'd want to befriend a_ Gryffindor _. Disgusting._

 _But... if you ever wanted help... my offer is still on the table. But not for long, okay? I know we're only eleven and whatnot, but I think I'm going to do pretty well in Potions and History of Magic, which I notice you fall asleep in a lot. So, you know, if you ever wanted help with anything, we could always work in the library. But, please, for the love of Merlin, do_ not _bring Weasley. I can stand you, but I will not stand him._

 _Listen, this isn't me being nice or anything so don't think that. I'm offering help because I'd hate to see a wizard with potential fail because he hangs around people like the Weasleys who don't have any dignity. But you and I, Harry? Well, I think we'd be pretty great together. You don't have to hang with the ginger just because he's the first person you met. And, actually, he wasn't! You met_ me _in Madam Malkins! I suppose I could have been a_ bit _kinder to you, but only for you! I won't become all Hufflepuff._

_Your Enemy That Is Still Offering Friendship,_   
_Draco L. Malfoy_

**[2]**

_Dear Saint Potter,_

_People really think that_ you're _the Heir of Slytherin? That's got to be the biggest load or rubbish I have ever heard. But, then again, all your family's dead. So, I suppose you very well could be. But- no. There's no way any heir of_ Salazar Slytherin _himself would marry a muggle, which is what your stupid father did. Part of me is in my glory because finally the rest of the school hates you as much as I do. They finally don't praise your bloody name every day. More people talk to me now than ever before. So, thank you, Potter!_

_However, the other part of me almost feels sorry for you. I feel sorry that you can barely step out of your dormitory without getting hit by ten different glares. Now you know how I feel every day of my life. I still wish we were friends, you know. Because if we were I could teach you my ways. You get hit with ten glares? Give ten more glares right back. You hear someone mutter something nasty about you? Insult them right back. Better yet, insult them before they have the chance to do it to you._

_I hate you, you know that? I'm twelve years old and I've made a lifelong enemy because you didn't take my bloody hand._ Why _? Why didn't you? And why am I still so bothered by it? But don't you see how great we could have been, Potter? Between you and me, nothing could bother us. You could tell me the truth about if you're the Heir or not and I could defend you but instead I'm the one causing you trouble because of how much trouble you've caused me._

_I hope you know I'm not sorry._

_Sincerely,_   
_Draco Malfoy_

**[3]**

_Dear Potter,_

_Your hair is my least favorite thing in the_ entire _world. My other least favorite thing is the fact that Slytherins and Gryffindors have so many classes together. I can't even concentrate in classes with you because I'm too busy glaring at the back of your jet black hair that sticks out everywhere. I guess it's just a thing for us thirteen year olds to give up on hair, though, because I forgot my hair gel at home and now my hair just hangs down in my face. I told mother and father not to mail it to me, though, because I kind of like what I've got going on with it, though. But for once let's not talk about me, let's talk about your disastrous hair._

 _The worst part about it is that I_ like _it. It's much more messier than the past two years but some part of me thinks that it looks good and now I can't stop thinking about how I think_ you _look good. The worst worst part is that because I think your hair looks good I'm now noticing other parts about you that I think look good. Like your bloody bright eyes. How come I never noticed how green they were before? And bloody_ hell _Potter, you're fit. Quidditch really worked in your favor, didn't it?_

 _But this is terrifying. This is_ wrong _. I don't know why I'm thinking these things and it has to stop. So, if this letter ever reaches you, which it won't, that's the reason why I'm so much meaner to you this year than the previous ones. Maybe if I move further away from you these weird feelings will go away just how they need to. I hate you so much Potter, you're always making my life difficult, aren't you?_

 _Your Confused and Angry_ Enemy _,_  
 _Malfoy_

**[4]**

_Dear Golden Boy,_

_What is_ wrong _with you?! Have you completely lost what little mind you had in the first place? Entering the Triwizard Tournament? You're a bloody moron, Harry Potter, and we're too far in for me to do anything about it now. Had this happened first or second year, maybe third, there was still a slim chance of me being able to help. You still would have had the chance to be my friend and I could get my father to help somehow but we're fourteen now. Fourth year,_ Merlin _, you have awful timing! I officially hate you in my father's eyes and there's no way he'd ever help you now. Especially since I think he has something to do with your name ending up in the Goblet anyways._

 _Merlin, I wish I could just talk to you. I'm worried about you, Harry. Remember those scary feelings I discovered last year? They haven't went away. I thought they did, that is, until I watched you almost get burnt to a crisp by a dragon. That's when I knew I was worried about you. That's when I knew I cared about you. And maybe if I wasn't stupid and didn't make_ Potter Stinks _badges or place bets against you, I'd be able to talk to you._

 _I thought I had a chance when you and Weasley weren't on good terms. Because then at least I might have been able to walk up to you without him butting into the conversation and telling me to "_ sod off _" or anything. I just want you to know that I tried. That day in the courtyard? When I was turned into a ferret by bloody Moody? Yeah, I was going to talk to you then. Or ask to talk, at least. But then you snapped and insulted my father and I and I suppose you were already having a rotten day and we never got around to having that talk, did we? Then you and Weasley were alright again and we really didn't get a chance._

_And at the Yule Ball... I hate you Harry Potter. I never knew my heart could hurt the way that it did when I saw you dancing with that stupid Patil girl. And then you sat! You sat miserably for the rest of the night, but I did too. I was on the other side of the room, but you didn't care. You talked with Weasley and didn't bat an eye in my direction. I sat alone because I encouraged Pansy to dance and have fun and not to let me ruin her night._

_I sat. And I thought. I thought about what might have been in a different universe. In another world you took my hand. And you liked me and I liked you. And when we were old enough we realized we liked each other in a different way and one of us got enough courage to ask the other to this stupid Ball. And maybe we kissed and maybe we didn't. And maybe it was me that was taken into the Black Lake as the one you'd miss most instead of Weasley. And maybe you saved me. Maybe you saved me from my father's fate the night he decided to go to the graveyard and ruin my life._

_That night you came back from the graveyard... Harry my heart stopped. For a second I thought you_ and _Diggory were both dead and the Dark Lord sent you back as some sign to show that he was risen fully. But then you looked up, and your tear-filled eyes met mine for a second and I just thanked Merlin that you were alright. Even if I couldn't run down to you and hold you in my arms while you cried. As long as you were alive._

_I hope you know I'm sorry._

_Draco Malfoy_

**[5]**

_Dear Harry Potter,_

_I want to know if you think it's possible to love someone that you should and are supposed to hate. I want to know if you think it's possible for Draco Malfoy to hide a thousand emotions behind a sneer and an insult. I want to know if you're as clueless as everyone says you are or if somewhere in that mind of yours, you might think that there's more to me. However, I can't be much of a help to you with that, though. How are you supposed to guess that I care about you when I'm joining the Inquisitorial Squad and feeding Umbridge information on you?_

_My father. That's what I need you to guess. What I need you to understand. If I don't do these things I put myself at risk with my father and my father at risk with the Dark Lord. And, yeah, I know you hate the Dark Lord, my father, and me, and all for good reason, but just try to understand. If there was a way out of this I'd be the first to take it. I just don't think my father would react well to finding out that I'm in love with Harry Potter, right?_

_But I can be trusted. That little fighting class you're teaching in the Room of Requirement? Yeah, I know all about it. I'd give_ anything _to join, too. Anything to have you stand behind me and hold my hand as you adjust the spell patterns I should do. Anything to learn how to cast a bloody Patronus. I'd use memories of you, because you make me happiest, but that's the thing. You also make me the saddest._

_I don't plan on telling on you. I would never. But I just hope you know that if you get caught I'll have to go along with the act I've been holding onto for a few years now. The one where I smirk gleefully when you get in trouble. I bet I hate that bloody smirk as much as you do, Potter._

_Love,_   
_Your Faithful Double-Agent_

**[+1]**

_Dear Harry,_

_Please stop stalking me. Do you really think I haven't noticed? You follow me everywhere, your eyes are always on me, and I hear you talking about me. If you did this back in fourth or fifth year for a different reason than the one you have right now, I'd be ecstatic. But I know why you're doing it. You're onto me. And I was stupid enough to think that_ you _were stupid enough not to realize. But you're bloody smart, Harry Potter. You're right, you know. I've got the Dark Mark on my arm._

_You're right and not even the smartest girl in our grade could figure it out._

_I've wished for things to be different many, many times before, but never more than I do now. I've long since let go of caring about you not taking my hand, because I realize now that it was never your fault. It was always mine. My fault for being rude at Madam Malkin's. My fault for being rude to Weasley, your first real friend. My fault for treating you horribly all these years when deep down I love you._

_And I'm not afraid of writing it anymore. I was, for a while, but I'm not now. Besides, after what I'm about to do, it doesn't matter what I write down because you're going to hate me no matter what. I'm so scared. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be evil, but if I don't, I die. It's as simple as that. If I fail to do what the Dark Lord wishes, I die, and the only person that could protect me probably wants me dead anyways. (You)._

_So, Harry Potter, I love you. I found love where I shouldn't have. But I did. And now it's too late._

_Love,_   
_Draco_

Sighing, Draco ran a hand through his hair and dropped his quill. He barely looked up from the parchment when the door opened and Pansy walked in. He closed his eyes, which burned with tears, and when he opened them, the burn and the tears were gone.

"Ready?" Pansy asked, smiling a little. It was time for their last Hogsmeade trip before everything was set to happen. Emotionlessly, Draco nodded, stood, and left the dorm, expecting Pansy to follow right away.

She didn't. She frowned and walked over to his desk, her bright eyes scanning the paper, and widening as she read. When she finished, her eyes drifted down to the open drawer to see five more letters folded and marked with an H. Smirking, she grabbed the one on the desk, along with the others, slipped them into her pocket, and left the dorm.

\- - -

Harry didn't realize his hand was shaking until he held the last letter in his hand. Five years of hatred burned inside of him along with five years of awe, envy, and hopelessness. That idiot felt this way about Harry and never even said a word? Now, Harry, will admit, he's very clueless. But after seeing Draco in fourth year after the maze and making eye contact with him, he knew. 

He knew he was in love with Draco Malfoy.

Ignoring Ron's "Where're you off to?", Harry raced out of the common room only to be met in the hallway with Pansy Parkinson, who was smirking. Harry froze and studied her for a moment before it dawned on him.

"It was you," he breathed. "You sent those letters. He doesn't know you took them, does he?"

Smirking again, she mimed zipping her lips closed.

"Parkinson," Harry said lowly, "Where is he?"

Pansy lifted her hand and pointed a finger down the hall to bathroom, and Harry took off without another word. He practically shoved open the bathroom doors only to be met with a distressed Draco Malfoy.

Draco whipped around, blue-grey eyes wide and chest shaking from taking deep breaths. His hands were gripping the sides of the sink, but if they weren't, Harry had a strong feeling they'd be shaking, too.

Grey met green and both boys felt their hearts stop.

"I knew," Harry whispered, his voice to broken to speak any louder.

Draco gulped, "W-What?"

Harry took a step forward. "I knew, back in fifth year. I knew you knew about Dumbledore's Army."

Draco made a strangled sound.

"And- and I did look at you at the Yule Ball. I knew where you were sitting. Every time I looked up you were looking down." Harry continued. Draco looked like he couldn't decide whether to cry of shame or embarrassment.

"You were never supposed to see those-" He tried, but harry cut him off.

"And in third year? I thought you looked good, too. Quidditch didn't only work in my favor, you know." Harry slowly grinned.

Draco was shaking his head, his whole body now turned to face Harry.

"And, Draco," Harry muttered, and both boys stilled at the use of Draco's first name. "I love you too."

For a moment everything was still. Even the water that had been dripping form the faucet seemed to stop in anticipation to see what would happen next. And the two sixth year boys didn't disappoint.

Draco lunged forward and caught Harry's face between his hands, slamming his lips against the shorter boy's. Harry stumbled back at first, but wrapped his arms around Draco and kissed back.

So maybe they didn't find love where it was supposed to be.

But they found it.


End file.
